Saturday, December 08, 2007

Are We Having Fun Yet?

I don't think so.

I have a headache.

All was starting to calm down nicely (found the right crutches, got DH started on a course of prednisone, DD#2 salvaged one of her overdue bills, I started to work on work again, I even made it to knitting group). I actually got some Christmas shopping done, almost a miracle since I usually get around to shopping 2-3 days before the event.

Yesterday afternoon I had just made a cup of greatly-needed coffee, waved DD#2 off to work, sat down with DH, and my cell phone rang. DD#2's name was on the caller ID. I knew what it was, I just knew that I would hear her voice telling me -- "Mom, I've gotten into an accident."

I was right.

I was very calm, grabbed my AAA card, relevant phone numbers, and drove away. As much as I wanted to run away from home, I had to go speak to the police, arrange the towing, call the insurance claim rep. In all fairness, this was a three car event, with the car in the middle causing the actual accident by rear-ending a sedan (car #1). DD#2 was driving car #3, and rear-ended car#2, which was rebounding off car #1 at the time. Obviously not my daughter's fault, BUT in California the law automatically assigns blame to the last car in the rear-ending incident. Her car was completely undrivable and may be declared a total loss. Three tow trucks came. Thank God, no one was hurt.

This is her third accident in 3 years. As she is 21 and still lives at home, she has to be on our car insurance. Why does she still have a car? I would really love to give a good, rational, mature answer to that question -- but I don't have one.

Comic Relief: A rubber-necker in the next lane was rear-ended by a drunk driver. Two more tow trucks had to be called to the scene.

DH was checking out mortgage refinancing options on-line a couple of weeks ago, filled out one of those inquiry forms, and was expecting a deluge of email, right? We have gotten unsolicited calls from at least 2500 people and places, to the point of getting pretty rude. Here are three actual exchanges between me (DS) and unsolicited callers (UC).

Call Scenario #1, which I like to call "Stuffy Old Bitch Answers"
DS: Hello?
UC: Let me speak to Claus.
DS: I beg your pardon?
UC: I'd like to speak to Claus.
DS: Are you personally acquainted with my husband?
UC: Well, no, but he asked for refinancing information, so I am following up.
DS: Young man/young woman, let me give you some advice, which you may already have heard from your mother but have obviously forgotten. Never, never ask for or address someone by his first name unless you have been invited to do so. I have no interest in speaking to someone as poorly trained and ill-mannered as you.

Call Scenario #2, In Which I get Rid Of The Caller As Quickly As Possible:
DS: Hello?
UC: I'd like to speak to Claus (pronounces it "claws", easy mistake to make)
DS: You want to speak to whom?
UC: Claus
DS: Sorry, nobody here by that name.

Cal Scenario #3, AKA Having Some Fun:
DS: Hello?
UC: I'd like to speak to Claus.
DS: Sorry, he no longer lives here.
UC: He moved?
DS: Yes, he has moved to China. Would you like his new telephone number?

5 comments:

Kathryn said...

Okay, a strange question for you...I was looking through junk in my house for a gag gift exchange, and decided to google for what I decided to use for my gag gift, just in case it was worth something. My planned gag gift is an old plate with 2 angels sitting in the clouds and the phrase "and if we're good we'll go to Texas". My google search turned up a post you made last year on another blog -- the only return I got on the search, so I guess it's not worth much. It has no personal significance to me, but I thought it might to you since you remembered it from your grandfather's house. So the question is, would you be interested in having the plate? Let me know if you are and I can ship it to you.

Jeannie said...

Where did you get it??? I would love to have this. Happy to pay for shipping. Where do you live? Let me know, and I will give my address.

Kathryn said...

My mother bought it for me at an antique/junk shop a couple of years ago in Texas or Arkansas. I moved to Texas several years ago, so she bought it as a joke, and it's been sitting in my garage gathering dust ever since. Who knows, it could be the one from your grandfather's house!

You can send me your address at the following email: lutherphi@netscape.net

I'll package it and ship it out to you. Hopefully it will be a nice remembrance of your grandfather.

Ceallach said...

OOOOh, that reminds me of the young lady from the mortgage company that called to speak to Peter, and implied that there was something illicit going on between them....It was only when I started to ask pointed questions that it became clear what she was about.

slimy bastards.

Jeannie said...

Slimy bastards, indeed!